Oh shit was right, and there's piles of it!

So yes, I accepted the interim acting big job. It's not official until HR signs off on it and to do that, they have to get a memo from God and Pres. Obama saying it's official. In the mean time, I'm working full time and going to school part time and being a dog mom part time and drinking part time. OK, I'm dedicating 3/4 time to drinking. You know me too well.

You know that dreadful feeling that there's just something you should be working on, but you can't quite remember what it is? Yeah, I have that feeling every. single. day. at work in my new position. The reason? Her name is Sally. (Not her real name.) She left two weeks ago. I took over her job three weeks ago.

In the week before she left she was supposed to get me:
1. a list of projects she's working on and the status
2. a list of freelancers she's got projects working on, the status, and their contact info
3. a list of freelancers and what their talents are/contact info
4. two, no, three writing projects finalized and ready for layout

So far I have:
5. None of the above.

As a result I also have:
6. 60 hour work weeks, including working at 12:30 am. For. Work.
7. a sneaking suspicion that there is something I should be doing, especially when people call me/stop by my desk/email me with "hey, do you know how the TPS report is coming along?" type questions and I've never heard of said report. (I do know that you're supposed to put a cover page on it though.)
8. a strong desire to be from the South so I could say things like, "seriously y'all?". Instead y'all comes out sounding wrong without the soothing drawaaaaal.

But seriously, y'all? Why do I always get picked to clean up other people's shit?

Oh shit.

That was the first thought I had when my boss sent me this email:

"Hi! Do you have time first thing Monday to grab some coffee and chat? Thanks!"

This could go two ways: she could fire me or offer me a full time job. I was crossing my fingers that it was the latter.

It was also the first thought I had when she placed the job description for the supermegahugeVIP position in front of me and asked me if there was any interest.

Oh shit.

It's a great job. With benefits. And tuition waiver. And lots o' responsibility. And underlings. And, did I mention, a real salary. One that would make my dream of buying brand name food at the grocery store a reality.

And I could totally do it. All of the stuff on the list is stuff I know how to do. It's just that there's So. Much. Of. It. Did I mention that I'd have underlings? And people to manage. And decisions to make. And power to be had.

But oh shit.

Side effects may include embarrassment

I went to the IT dept to have my name changed on the Exchange Server. The kid (not joking, he's a junior in college) who is the head of the IT dept looks at me and says, "congratulations on getting married." At which point I say, "oh, no, other way." He looks at me confused for a minute and then says, "well, this is awkward. Congratulations, anyway?"

****

My mom was visiting this week. She rang up an old friend's daughter who lives here in town. Keep in mind that I only heard half the conversation:

Mom: I'm staying at Stephanie's house. She works tomorrow from 8:30-2:30. Then she has class at 6-8.

Sue asks a question.

Mom: oh no, she lives over by the University. Do you know where that is?

Sue says something.

Mom: oh, no, it's something else... (pause) there's been some changes in her life (pause)

Me: I got a divorce Sue! (I yell) You can say it mom, it's ok.

Mom: I'm having a hard time saying it. She's had some lifestyle changes recently.

Me: I'm not a lesbian mom! I got a divorce. It's ok to say it.

Mom: well, she got a divorce... let me give you to her so she can give you her address.