Single Mom

Do you have a "dream travel" list? I do. Countries like the Czech Republic, Greece, Cuba, Belize, and oh, everywhere, make my list. So when I found a class that lets me go to Belize and get 4 credits toward my degree, I jumped on it. The catch is that I'll be gone for 11 days and will need a dog sitter. With plenty of notice, I asked my ex to care for them. I thought, wrongly it would seem, that he would help. Because, you know, he wanted to keep them when we got divorced. Then, after a few months went by, he didn't want them as much, but said he'd watch them if I needed it.

Then, I got this email on Friday:
I'm really sorry but I will not be able to watch the dogs this time. I am planning to be in Vegas visiting the fam for Thanksgiving and won't be back before you leave. In fact I would prefer to be moved down the list of potential dog-sitters if you don't mind. This is very difficult for me because I do love them, but a lot of things are changing for me and it's just no longer comfortable or convenient for me to take them on, especially for such a long stretch as two weeks. I might be able to take them for a few days around Christmas/New Year's, but I can't commit right now.

There are a million different possible responses to an email like this. I really wanted to go to snark, 'cus that's what I do best. Here are my options:

1. I will make other arrangements from now on. You won't be inconvenienced again. Maybe I'll text you when Rocky dies. Maybe not. I'd hate to make it uncomfortable for you.
2. Oh, yes, I totally understand. Two weeks is such a long time. Why, I don't know how I possibly handle it for all the weeks in a row that I've had them.
3. Once again, I am so flippin' happy that we never had children together.

In the end, I think it's best to go with passive aggressive-infused guilt.

At first I was really upset. How dare he drop this crap on me when I'm working, going to school, being a single dog mom, and trying to have a life? Then I had a moment of clarity... I can take care of this on my own. I have been all this time. There are gobs of people more than willing to help me. My friends, people who care about me, are here to help. As a backup, I had the vet give them a bordatella shot yesterday just in case I need to board them. My brother and sister-in-law are going to let them stay at their farm, so it's all going to work out. This really is a blessing in disguise. Really. Now I never have another reason to see my ex again. I can finally let go of that part of my life. Let go of that person I used to be.

I think I'll celebrate by going to Belize.

School Daze

Classes started a few weeks ago, but, I'll admit, I really haven't been "doing" anything constructive with my class. It's a directed study class so I'm never required to be in class, or do any homework, or really produce any product of notable value. Except an Integrated Marketing Communications Campaign for an actual company. Bahh, I can knock that out in a weekend, right?

Instead of doing homework, I've been engaged in a 10 1/2 week weight off challenge with Ace. (Yes, I know, he's still around. What can I say? He's delish.) We're locked in a head to head challenge over who can lose the most weight by Nov 29, before I leave the country for Belize for 10 days. Truth is, I just want some motivation to get in shape for my bikini-wearing-snorkeling trip in Belize. Oh yeah, that... going to Belize for a class. Gosh, if I wasn't me, I'd totally hate myself right now.

It occurred to me today that I moved almost a year ago. One year of Daphne 3.0. One of these days I'll post my greatest hits of the last year. Or memoir's. Or something.

Hi def nunnery

The AV Club had it's inaugural movie night last night with the big screen. It's a nice talking picture. We watched Seven Pounds. I really didn't like the movie (even though it was good) because I was confused the entire time. I don't like feeling confused.

I must say, I do like the gov't mandated digital conversion. Fortunately, I get great over-the-air reception. The new digital antenna picks up 30 channels. Most of them in Spanish and/or talking about little baby Jesus. I get MTV 3, which is in Espanole. There's one channel that always has a nun on it. She just stares at the camera and says something under her breath. It gives me the creeps. It's one of the channels with the best reception so sometimes I watch it just because it comes in clearer than Fox.

After 10 months without one, it's kind of weird having a TV again. I spent some decent money on it so I feel compelled to have it on. When I saw the nun show, I immediately I requested Mad Men and How I Met Your Mother on DVD from the library. They can't come soon enough.

Watch pots never boil, people.

Sooo, I've been away awhile. Doing dog knows what. Mostly working. We're making a new website at work and it's been a little overwhelming. I also have been doing things like saving lives (it's true), camping and working off the 10 lbs of work stress-related eating I've done since beginning the above referenced website.

First: Camping
Ace and I went camping last weekend. It was glorious. You wanna know why? There are no websites to make when you're camping. I know, I tried. Nor are there cell phones (little scary at first, but you get used to it). There are also no websites to make when you're hiking. Or mountain biking. Or making s'mores by the fire.

We went to the area south of Rabbit Ears Pass, near Steamboat. It was so, so, so beautiful that my eyeballs are still crying for having to look anything else now. I was a little happy to get back to civilization, just so I could use running water again. You never know how much you miss it (and making websites) until you don't have it anymore.



Second: Saving Lives
I was swimming in a duathlon this week when I came up on a guy who was not doing well in the water. One thing leads to another and I'm pulling him up from under the water just before the emergency people got to us. I feel good and all for saving someone, but I lost 5 minutes off my time and was kind of pissy about that. (At least it helps me move from driving the bus to hell to just riding on it.)

Third: Making Websites aka Dealing with Dumb People
We're redeveloping our entire site (all 1000 pages of it) from scratch and I get to proof read all of it. I also get to interact with some of our institutions best and brightest minds. My favorite line of the day today was, ahem:

Me: I don't think we should post students' home contact information on our website because it is a legal liability and violates privacy laws.

Dept. Secretary(!): Oh, it's OK, the students have said that we can post it. How else will people find them?

(Like the stalker who wants to hunt down one of our students and murder him/her in their sleep? Yeah, how else would they find them? Hey, maybe not through our website! Let the crazies work a little harder to find it.)

For the record, I have nothing against secretaries (and yes, that is her official title), I just have something against people that don't see the bigger picture and get mad at you when you point out that they are breaking the law. But that's just me.

As you can see, I'm living the dream here. So much so that I don't have time to post how exciting my life is. Somedays even twitter is too much content for me to update. Yes, I'm that sad.

What's with those fancy talking pictures in the living room?

I give up. I'm running back into the cult and buying a TV. I've lived without one for 9 months. When people ask me how I live without one, I simply reply, I don't have time to watch TV. (Which is mostly true) The real reason? I didn't get one in the severance package.

But enough is enough. As an American I am, frankly, ashamed of myself. It's not that I haven't wanted one, I've just wanted other things more. Like trips to wine country. Or food.

It's actually kind of fun buying a TV all on my own. Kind of empowering and all that crap. I'm also going to get a home theater system. Because I have to. It's my duty as an American. Right?

I've got it narrowed down and should make the purchase in the next few weeks. (Squeal!) I just may splurge and get one of these.

Chocolate Covered Sunshine

I'm up late (or early, depending on your time zone) working on a project for work. It's a project that we've been working on for 1450 years, give or take a decade. Being awake when the rest of the world is asleep brings curious results. I've noticed how quiet the highway gets at this time of night. I've noticed that I have no willpower against the chocolate covered cranberries in my cupboard. I've noticed that while I *heart* my job, I can't help but day (night) dream about running away to the ocean and selling tacky tourist souvenirs.

I've also noticed that try as I might, my brain keeps straying to thoughts about Ace. Specifically, what to do about him. I'm nuttier than a Snickers bar over that man. But. (There's the but.) Now's about the time when things get difficult. Seven+ months in. My hetero man friend at work just broke up with his girlfriend of nine months because of unresolvable differences. He said it had been brewing for a few months.

Part of me wants to work through these difficulties because of the aforementioned nuttiness and affection. I adore so many things about him: He makes me giggle. He makes me melt. He makes me try new things. He makes me think I made the right choice.

But. (ah, there it is again)

Part of me doesn't want to be trapped in another relationship that one day I'll wake up, 15 years later, and wonder what the hell happened to me. The big difference then will be that I'll be 50 instead of 35. It's much harder to start over at 50 than at 35. (It was hard enough to start over at 35. I'm immensely proud of myself for not only being able to kill mice on my own, but be able to stay out of collections because I can pay my bills online. These are two skills little me didn't possess just 8 short months ago.) There are a number of things I can't stand about us: He makes me cry sometimes. He makes me wonder if it's not him, but me. He makes me feel like I've learned nothing from my failed marriage about sharing my feelings. (Yes, I know men hate the f-word.)

But. (this time for a good reason)

When I'm with him, when things are good between us, there's no other place I want to be or person I want to be with. When I'm not with him, even when times aren't good between us, I only want to be with him. I think about things I would have never thought of before I met him, like my previously-mentioned disdain for children. He's almost got me convinced that they'd make good day laborers. Almost.

But. (last time, promise)

It's far too dangerous to be thinking about this at 1:30 a.m. Especially when I've got work to do. And sleep to undertake.

Mascot update

I suddenly have a strong craving for peanut oil fried chicken.

London calling.

Some people may find it strange that I'm thinking of going to a foreign country with a woman I met once at a conference. Others might find it absolutely insane.

I'm sure it will work out.