More crap, less filling.

Nothing really exciting is happening right now. Since I'm the boss of me, people always ask how things are going. They think it's all glamour and bright red lipstick. That my days are filled with high-powered meetings and lunches with fabulous people in expensive suits. Most of the time it's more like toothpaste-stained sweat pants and whatever I can find in the fridge for lunch. Not wanting to disappoint, I come up with something interesting, or sometimes, nothing remotely interesting, but more than boring, less than mundane. Right now is a period between yawn and WTF? and I'm getting ansy. It's the end of Q1FY07 and I'm not where my budget says I should be. That's not fair because I traded about 5k for advertising. So I'm really ahead of my Q1 budget, but not where it matters... at the bank. It gets hard being rosy and positive all the time about a business that is so up and down. It's harder when you're married to a guy that panics every month when we need to pay the mortgage and some asshat is 45+ days late paying an invoice. There's little I can do to get said asshat to cut a check faster. But the nagging continues from the CFO side of the bed. I get tired so much lately and I know that it's because I've been sitting around, not working as much as I should. I'm stuck between here and there and someone gave me the wrong map because I can't figure out how to get to there.

I need to decide in t-minus 3 days (or less) if I'll re-take the GMAT. My score is not good enough, so says Kenny. I hate being judged by a score from a test that says nothing about me and what I am capable of when interacting with other human beings. Oh, it costs $250 each time. And, I'd have to hire a tutor because I'm mentally incompetent on the math portion. More than that, I dread taking the test again. It makes me want to cry. Not just a pretty boo-hoo and a wipe of the tissue, but a huge gusher and an unmitigated temper tantrum involving antique figurines and a hard wall.

In the mean time, I've got to keep on getting on. I started bidding on a couple of government/public contracts. It's a different process that what I've gotten used to. It's not so foreign to me as that's all I did back in my other life working for Bigco. Except now I'm the product I'm trying to sell. The first one I bid on I didn't qualify for but I bid it anyway. In a way it was just an experiment to see how the whole thing works. It's a game between all the bidders. I found out that I charge too little. Take that cheap ass cheapsters. I'm a bargain compared to some.

Like I said, nothing really interesting right now. Found out that Paddi Sir has lost 4 pounds since moving to Beagle Bootcamp. We take our victories where we can. Seems like life is a cycle of wake, eat, stare at screen, yell at hounds for eating dog pooh, invoice asshats, meet with semi-interesting people with more money than I, wash sweat pants, make dinner, sleep, repeat. Over and over again. Especially the dog pooh thing. They really have a problem.

The interview was the standard interview fare. The interviewer had a list of questions to ask and he took notes. I was allowed to go back and change or amend some answers if I saw fit, but I decided to leave them as they were. What do you think? Would you recomend me for admission?

Q. Describe your career path thus far?
A. Ketel One, Sauvignon Blanc and on Friday nights, Jamison.

Q. Why are you interested in pursuing a graduate degree at this point in your career?
A. I have too much disposible income and time on my hands.

Q. Describe how you interact in a team setting.
A. Mostly passive aggressive with a touch of snark and underhanded backstabing.

Q. Describe how you would handle a conflict between two team members if you were their supervisor/leader?
A. Put them in the jello pit and make them fight it out.

Q. What community involvement have you had/do you have?
A. Mostly with the disadvantaged trust fund babies. You don't know how bad they've got it.

Q. How would others describe your leadership style?
A. On a good day, Bette Davis meets QE II. Piss me off and prepare for some unpleasantness.

So? I'm a great candidate, no?

What's a four letter word that starts with F?

Why, it's the word "free." I'm so fricken sick of it. (Except when I gets me somethings for free.) Most of the time people ask me to provide design/creative for free. Whilst wogging with my fav client/friend last week, we discussed why otherwise generous people would ask a person to provide their services for free. It all boils down to the fact that people don't place a high value on a service as much as they do a tangible product. One wouldn't walk into Target and ask if they can have a BBQ for free, would they? OK, someone probably has, but that's besides the point. Services, alas, are just seen as time. Why charge for your time when you can do it for free?

The latest is a potential client that could have been a super fun project. Coulda. They asked me to come up with a few ideas for them. Normally I don't do design on spec. It's just not done. Shoulda listened to my inner manager on this one. But it was so much fun that I got wrapped up in the creativity of it all and went ahead and spent two (or three) hours coming up with two different concepts for them. Mocked 'em up and everything. They are awesome, by the way. I'm so in love with both. The sticky, stinking problem? The client has used another design firm for the past 142 years but they are starting to feel like they are being taken for granted. So the client wanted to "light a fire" under the old design firm and told them they would be compeating against Moi, the most creative and fabulous designer who wears PJs to work. I guess that indeed lit a fire. After the client ooohed and aaahhhed over my two awesome ideas, they decided to go with their usual designer. Why? Well the bitches offered to donate all their services for this project. For free! Oh, for pucks sake.

The other way of looking at it is that they had to give it away otherwise I would have swiped that account and they would be left boo-hooing in their stale design studio. I bet they don't even wear PJs at the office. I really love my two concepts. Now all I need is a client with a big print budget to use them with. We're talking foil stamps, die cuts, and the distinct possibility of embossing. Damn. What a waste.

B-School Update:

• I recieved my "official" scores back from the GMAT people. Not much of a surprise since they give you the unofficial scores when you finish. The only news was the writing assessment score. On a 0-6 scale, yours truly scored a 5. It's the 73 percentile. Average is a 4.3. Take that bitches. And I didn't even try that hard on the writing, I was saving myself for the purgatory known as the quantatative section.
  
• I have my entrance interview on Wednesday with an entrance interviewer. Will report back from the front.

If anyone knows how to answer this question, I'll give 'em a cookie.

So the test was horribly, horribly bad. Rather, I was horribly, horribly bad on the test. The first math question kicked my ass and I could not answer it. I wasted seven precious minutes of my 75 minutes on that piece o' crap question.

The writing essays were easy, like butta. The computer locked up on me twice during the first essay. Luckily I hadn't gotten far into typing when it happened. I still finished both essays with plenty of time to spare. In the remaining time, I doodled what would be useless formulas on my scratch pad. Useless, because none of the math questions covered any of the formulas I memorized.

The verbal part (different from the essays) was easier, but I was so flustered from the math hell that I only scored in the 58% percentile for the verbal. I know I can do better than that. All my practice tests were in the 78-90% percentile. Bitches.

I knew I was doing poorly on the math when I got this question:
"If # means multiplication, then is a#b addition, subtraction, division or multiplication? "

Basically: "if you are too dumb to realize that we are giving you the answer, you need to leave now and never return. Try applying at Starbucks. They use computers for everything, assuming you are bright enough to operate one unassisted."

The question that kicked my ass, and continues to flabbergast me, is this:

"If square root of x = 25, then what is x^3-x^2?"
(I don't know how to make it look like a sr sign. The ^ is the power sign, so x-cubed minus x-squared)

Normally I could have found the answer, but none of the choices was an actual answer. They were all other formulas. Formulas like 6(5^3-1), and 1/x, and 5^6+Paris Hilton.

So after 6.67 minutes of trying to figure it out, I guessed and moved on. I guessed wrong, because the next question was easy. When they give you an easy question, it means you got the previous one wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Technically, I'm not supposed to be talking about this to any living soul. But technically, they were supposed to ask me questions about shit I'd studied, so I figure we're even. Bitches.

I may end up taking it again. I don't know. I have to talk to Kenny (yes, his real name) in the admissions office to see what my options are. I'm guessing (but I could be wrong, since I am so good at guessing incorrectly) that my piss-poor score couldn't get me into Asrama's Belly Dancing Academy right now.

Bitches.