Snips of snails, and puppy dog tails

That's what little boys are made of.


What are young men made of?
Sighs and leers and crocodile tears;


And young women? That's debatable. This week I'm full of caffeine, Advil, instant oatmeal and Emergen-C. I'm low on sleep, patience, and time.

Last week of school. Two research projects complete. One more to go. Update after my final exam on Tuesday. (It involves puppies. Update, not the exam.)

91 days

On Monday, I'll officially be Miss Daphne again.

The last three months have been challenging. Sometimes scary. And lonely. And exciting. And terrifying. And hopeful. All of it, all rolled into one.

Now I'm faced with the decision of going back to my maiden name. This is a huge PITA as it means I have to get a new passport, new credit cards, new checks, new library cards, new frequently flyer mileage card, new lease paperwork, new everything. Really makes me wish I had kept the first name to begin with.

In spite of it all, I'm looking forward to walking through the doors that will open with this new part of my life.

Thanks for being here with me.

You'll call him President Action Figure, thank you.

Did that really happen last night or was I drunk on $7 a glass cabernet?

Wild and crazy sober Halloween

My dream of being a living Barbie doll was realized Friday night for Halloween. After weeks of looking for quad roller skates, and some last minute costuming, I was ready to greet my public as Roller Derby Barbie.


Because I was on wheels the whole night, I volunteered to be the DD*. Honestly, I just don’t think I could have stayed upright and gotten drunk at the same time. Plus, it’s just really fun to be snarky towards drunk people on Halloween. Hella fun actually.

Sarah's Unite: Hockey Mom, VPILF, Miss Wasilla 1984

Most of the reaction to my costume was: 1) surprised, 2) awed, and 3) lewd. About 98% of the guys immediately thought that I was Heather Graham’s character from Boogie Nights. No. I was not Roller Girl. (And, no, I don’t think that “heeeeeey Roller Girl!” is a good pick up line.) Did she wear a roller derby shirt and knee/elbow pads? I think not. Plus Barbie is a classy lady. Not like that slut that Ms. Graham played.


My favorite costume by far was J’s friend B, who came as Kipp from Napoleon Dynamite.

He looked so much like him that I’m still laughing as I type this. J and I hit two house parties over the course of four hours and ended the night at our regular hangout, Jordans. Because sometimes you just want to go where everyone knows your name. All the bartenders and waiters were loaded. I’m pretty sure that’s a liability of some kind. As DD I had to wait for my drunk friends to leave, which was closing time. After closing time really… The bouncer kicked us out. By the time I got home at 2 am, I had made a whole bunch of new friends and new found love for roller skating. Like so many other things, it really is like riding a bike.


*I took shoes to wear while walking and driving. I’m crazy, not insane.