while we're at it...

My new drugs just might kill me. They don't play well with triptans, the Miracle Drugs sent from Holy God of All Mercy that make my migraines go away. Or so the FDA says. What do they know? Bunch of scientists. I've been on anti-depressants for two weeks now and all seems to be progressing nicely. I'm a regular Disney Princess around here now. Birds are singing gaily as they land on my palm, squirrels run up to me and smile, the sun is shining (but not too bright) and a trio of mice help me dress each morning. Where have these drugs been all my life?

FDA Public Health Advisory

Oh.

Let's go through the list of symptoms*:

• Restlessness. Check.
  
• Hallucinations. How fun!
  
• Loss of coordination. Have you met me?
  
• Fast heart beat. Doing three sports in under two hours will do that to ya.
  
• Rapid changes in blood pressure. Who hasn't?
  
• Increased body temperature. Like my grandma.
  
• Overactive reflexes. Oops. Sorry about your crotch.
  
• Nausea. Must be Monday.
  
• Vomiting. Must be a tri day.
  
• Diarrhea. Oh, must have eaten at On The Border.

* Symptoms for Serotonin Syndrome. Not migraines.

The warning states that patients must "weigh the potential risk of serotonin syndrome with the expected benefit of using a triptan with an SSRI or SNRI." In marketing-speak, we call that the value equation. Or is it the value proposition? Or prepositional phrase? Never mind. It reads a little like this:

migraine relief = (risk of death by hallucinating nausea - feeling like Princess Aurora) % (bunnies + slave to the Big Pharma industry)

It's quite simple, really.

On the Thank Dog front: my new drugs are Tier 1. That's Managedcare for less than 10 bucks a month.