3.91

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I bombed my final in marketing and walked out of the class with an A-.Yes, it's a good grade. Yes, I did my best with limited time to study for two finals on the same day. Yes, I'm actually at peace with my C grade on my final. But now I have to live with something less than a 4.0 gpa. I thought grad school was my time to pull that one out. Now, no matter how many As I earn, I'll never graduate with a 4.0. It sounds so silly to complain about. It's totally my OCD showing. (News flash, I'm not just self-diagnosed OCD anymore. A licensed, trained professional has said it is so. Ha!) I know that my need for perfection is a mask to hide all the shit going on beneath the surface. But it still doesn't make me want it even less – person can't just turn off the switch after 20 years of high performance. I guess that I just didn't want it bad enough finals week when I had too much work, too many projects, too many papers, too many finals, and too much crap floating around in my head. All at the same time. I feel better now just for writing it out. But it still smarts.

hey look, she's not dead!

Nope. Not dead. Just exhausted. In addition to working at Creative HQ, working PT at the college, working on school, I am also working on me. Specifically working on all the quirky things that make me, me, but also make me somewhat OCD and, well, wacko. Yes, that's the professional term. (Some of my long time readers - if there are any left out there - are thinking, 'what, she's crazy? I never knew.) Yes, it's true. Like most creative people in history- Van Gogh, Warhol, Cezanne, Goya, and David Lee Roth, I too suffer from some mental health issues. It really is mentally and physically exhausting. Pardon me for not wanting to share too much right now. I'd rather do what I do best: make a joke and ignore the problem. Maybe someday I shall share will you all. Maybe someday I shall share with my journal. Baby steps.

Changing topics... I'm also working on my summer/fall triathlon schedule. Thought I'd forgotten about them, eh? Ohhh no, I'm prying my ass away from the computer chair, putting away my 500 page marketing research textbook, and starting my spring training. My winter maintenance training was waylaid by an upset knee. Seems that when you lug a 50 lb backpack across four miles of campus in adorable but uncomfortable high heels, bad things happen to your back, your knees, and sadly, your shoes. Waaa. But on the bright side, I got to shop for new shoes! Yay me.

Guess who bought a brand new road bike? Go on, guess. OK, I'll tell you. It was me! Seems that March is the season for bike sales, the new ones are coming in and they must sell, sell, sell, the "old" ones. I bought a 2008 Specialized Allez (French for Go!) for pennies on the dollar. Daaaaamn, it's fast. I'm going for a professional fitting on Thursday. After that I'll have no excuse not to ride it. Except when it's raining. Or snowing. Or windy.

Lately I've been inspired to re-learn or re-activate the part of my brain that knows French. I found out that I can use the Rosetta Stone software for free through my college library. Maybe it's the new bike (Allez). Maybe it's the French-language ads we're working on at my PT job. Whatever the reason, it's kind of fun but at the same time, insane. Like I don't have enough to do already!

Anywho, I've got a date with my DVR. It seems that it's been watching all my favorite programs for the past 10 weeks. Funny how we share the same tastes.

A bientot!