balls out is tiring

My BUS 4615 had its Bear Grylls adventure this weekend and keeping with the theme of "leading on the edge" they encouraged us to go "balls out" all weekend. What is that you say? An esteemed ivy tower of academia would not use the term balls out? Well I was there and you weren't, so let's just say they did and I won't have to cut you. K? See, I decided to go balls out which involved mostly running through the woods with a compass in my hand screaming 'I can't read this thing!' Wandering around lost, hanging off a wire 50' in the air, doing duck and roll exercises, all the while operating on 4.7 hours of sleep, then rappelling off a mountain side into a faux arsenic disaster perpetrated by a mining company. (key point, faux, no arsenic was harmed in the making of my Bear Grylls weekend)

Then we had to "process" our "feelings" and talk about which "energies" we were "pushing" the most during the exercises. At which point I was told that I'm 1) very organized (duh.) and 2) too emotional (ehh?) as a leader. The funny thing is that I'm not even all that concerned about the "emotional" label b/c it came from two of the most non-emotional, empathy-vacant, men on my team. (Love you much, boys!) I'm upset that the only descriptors people could muster about my leadership abilities was "organized." What. The. H-E-Double Hockey Sticks? Gee if Ms. Organization was leading the war in Iraq, we'd be home by now. Wait... actually, sure, why not. Hokay, but what if you are trying to round up the courage to take that hill and secure the fort? Not to worry, your organized leader will inspire you with her tales of color coded tab folders. Don't you feel ready to die for your country? 'See, you use the label making machine to put the proper labels on the jars so you know which sized bullets are in each one... this prevents you from mixing them up.'

Could I be inspiring, supportive, ethical, diligent, engaging or even maybe, outgoing? But organized? Is that all I'm known for? If you're ever looking for a CEO who can collate, I'm yer woman.

In a word, I'm pooped. I think I'm coming down with something or I'm just bored. Maybe both. All I know is I'm tired and my 2:30 nap didn't make me feel better. Perhaps I need a 4:30 nap to round out my day. And some wine. Yes, yes, wine will make it all better.

Here's some evidence of me going balls out: