Funk-B-Gone!

I've decided that there's been far, far, far too much funk around these parts. I'm not talking about the good kind of funk, the George Clinton-Grand Funk Railroad-Bring In Da Funk-Bring In Da Noise kind of funk. No, I'm talking about the dark, stanky, mushy funk. The kind of funk that drowns your happy self in miserable self-defeating unkind untruths. That's it. Funk, be gone. Shoo.

Recommended measures to de-funk:

1) Rock out to some strong female (or if you're a man, Metallica) bands. Dixie Chicks are my current repeat. Especially "Taking the Long Way Around" and "So Hard." They speak to me as someone who left the corporate pod and from time to time needs a reminder why she left in the first place. And yes, Metallica has a time and a place. Even for girls.

2) Surround yourself with supportive, positive people. Today I met with a woman who was a walking happy-pill. She complimented me and my talents with genuine intent. She's one of those people that you don't believe exists. Oh, but they do. I need to spend more time with this woman. She made me feel like I was on the right path, that I'm going to be sucessful, that I'm as fantastic as my inner critic doesn't want me to believe.

3) Get out. Go outside. Breath fresh air. Get some vitamin D from the sun. It helps reduce the glare from your pasty white legs.

4) Put it in perspective. I have so much to be grateful for. There are other people in much more horrible, lonely, desperate situations that I am. Some people can't work in their flip-flops and PJs. Some of them have to live in France. (just kidding Francy-pants, you know that I'm just tres jealous of your wine, cheese, 17 weeks of vacation and unabashed love of Speedos.)

5) More perspective. It's not going to be like this forever. Everyone struggles at the begining. Ben & Jerry's didn't make a profit for five fricken years. Not one cent. I'm already ahead of them. And I'm better looking.

6) Don't eat chocolate cake and spin around in your desk chair like you're Sasha Cohen at the Worlds. It just isn't a good idea no matter how good that cake was.

7. Get help. There are a gozillion people out there that want to help you. SCORE is my next stop. I want to grow the Creative HQ but don't know how. So instead of whining about being dumb, I'm going to ask for help.

Ta-da. Feel free to post your own funk-b-gones.