Of Parsnips and McGookins

Mr and Mrs McGookin plan a road trip in the very near future. They've been in desperate need of a vacation, and being the ever so frugal couple, they've decided to pack up the station wagon and head west. Of course the two highly trained hunting dogs will accompany them. The McGookins never travel anywhere without the hounds. The McGookins start dreaming of road games like Slug Bug and 50 State License Plates, and Rowing their Boat sung repeatedly. They dream of eating salty food and drinking far too much caffeine than one human should consume. Visions of roadside tourist attractions dance in their heads.

But there's a wrinkle in their plans. Mrs McGookin, THE original Mrs McGookin, is on their route west. The McGookins had planned to spend a few days visiting The Elder McGookin while taking in the sights and sounds of a very respectable Las Vegas, Nevada. The Elder McGookin is a worrier. She worries about every detail of every trip including trips to the grocery store. These are planned in meticulous detail, with route maps and mile markers to the next bathroom and slot machine.

At first, The Elder McGookin was most welcoming of the highly trained hunting dogs. Relieved that their hounds would be welcomed in The Elder McGookin home, they made plans and asked for time off from their employers at the lumber yard and fabric store.

However, just as the house always wins, she soon started to worry for all five of them. The Younger Mrs McGookin just shakes it off and waits for the next Thing for The Elder McGookin to think of next. Meanwhile, Mr McGookin, being of The McGookin line, takes on his share of the worry burden.

The concern? Leaving the highly trained hunting dogs alone. Somehow The Elder Mrs McGookin believes the clan would leave the hounds alone for 47 hours strait, because she is a worrier and can only imagine that the one time they leave the house with The Younger McGookins, they would never return due to freak accident in the All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet line. The Elder McGookin imagines a worst case scenario with the peel-n-eat shrimp rising up and attacking the patrons of Circus Circus. The dessert table would join in and the only way to calm the condiments is by bribing them with open space near Laughlin. The neon green pickle relish has long dreamed of a home of his own, free of the nagging vinegar-laced tongue of the ketchup twins.

Now The Elder McGookins have offered to pay for kenneling the highly trained hunting dogs for a week while the Younger McGookins travel west. But The Younger Mrs McGookin knows this can only end badly and shrugs it off. No, no, no, that won't do at all, she says. They might as well fly in and out in a weekend if that is the case, she adds.

So there's the dilemma. To McGookin or to not McGookin? They might as well visit Mr and Mrs Parsnips, Mrs Helen P. McGookin's parents, who are the most hunting dog friendly of The Parsnips line.