I must have hit my head.

I'm thinking about doing something I've never thought I'd do in my life. It's something that people who know me laugh out loud when I say it. People who don't even know me that well would laugh at me. It's a sinister thing, really. Evil. Wrong in so many ways. I think I'm going to do it anyway.

What could be so laughable? So immoral? So wrong that I might think of it?

A triathlon.

See? You even laughed.

I'll admit, when these ladies/new friends suggested it at happy hour over a pint and artichoke dip, I nearly snorted the Strongbow out my nose. Me?! Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Me?! Who did they think they were talking to?

I. Don't. Exercise.

This is common knowledge among my friends and foes alike. Oh yes, I walk the hounds. I ski. I golf. I'll swim in a clean pool (clean, key word). But I don't exercise. I don't train. I have bad knees. And bronchial problems. I wouldn't even know where to start. And then there's the logistics. My BF Megan said to me, you have to swim in a reservoir. So? I replied. Think about it, she said. A reservoir. With other people. And things that have crapped in it. Oh. I said.

So I put it out of my mind for a few days. On Saturday while skiing, I caught an edge and fell, head over boots, flew 180 degrees around in mid-flight, and landed on my back. Then my head hit the cold, frozen snow. Wham! I thought I was concussed for a moment. I shook it off, got back up, and skied, ever so slowly, down the mountain. Panting. All. The. Way. Wait. Take. A. Breath. Where's. My. Inhaler? Ok. Go. Wait. Stop. Rest. Damn. I'm outta shape.

Monday I weighed myself for the first time since pre-surgery. Damn. I'm tubby. 'Splains so much. Hmm, what would help that? No, don't say it. Hey, I know?! A triathlon. That makes so much sense. Yes. Let's do that.

Why a triathlon? Why not? It's something I've n-e-v-e-r done. Something I n-e-v-e-r thought I could do. So why not? This has been my year of pushing myself past my comfort zone and lately that comfort zone has expanded to include my ginormous ass. Why not push myself even more? And I'm not getting any younger or in better shape as I sit on my Uge ass. Plus, it's the Danskin Triathlon. The triathlon for women who don't think they can do a triathlon.

Problem is, except those two g-friends from the other night, no one else wants to do it with me. Not my BF Megan. Not... wait. Maybe she's the only one I've asked so far. Huh.

Alright, I'm putting this out there. Any fine ladies in the Denver area want to do a triathlon with me? Or maybe just sit around and taunt?