ass permanently affixed to chair, and other tales from the home office

Working my fingers to the bone here. I've got three deadlines this week. A dog with an ear infection and a dislike for ear drops. A newly finished living room floor. Homecoming at DU. Photo shoots with VIPeople. (You heard that right.) Stalking the mayors office to set up said photo shoot. Beagles in need of weigh loss. Beagle parents in need of a drink. Five library books to read and return before Tuesday. One disgusting house screaming for a hose-down. One shower in three days. Two trips outside the house in six. Permanent view: computer screen. Ass evolving to fit desk chair. Why do we even own a TV?

Regale me with stories of your slackerness. I want to live vicariously through you all.