Can't... eat... any... more...

*plunk*

I think I just fell over from eating too much good food out on the town. Yes, I have enlarged to the size of Violet in Willy Wonka (the original, haven't seen the remake yet because I am so up on modern hip culture can't you see) due to multiple dinnerslunchesbreakfastescoffeesextravaganza over the past week. I may be in a carb coma. Yes, I think I am.

What normally is a eat out once a month type of girl was transformed into an every night porker. Oink. We headed downtown on Friday. Can I just say that downtown is fun, when you have fun people to be with, but when you are trying to find a $5 per hour parking spot because the $8 per hour parking spot is just too much to pay, and you have 2.6 seconds to get to the meeting of a lifetime, or at least this minute, it is a bit unnerving. Usually streams of curse words followed by the official language of pirates comes out of my mouth at times like these.

So we are downtown for a gala, a fete, a shindig. One that required fancypants. It's a prom on crack secretly disguised as a networking event. There are women with unnaturally large hair and men with equally unnatural orange "tans." About 30 gazillion people were crammed into a little space with music blaring. We were told there would be cocktails and heavy appies. Drink tickets were assured. We bee-lined to the bar only to be to told that the "tickets" were for those tables over there, a bartend in polyester vest points to the other side of the room. OK, now we're getting somewhere. We saunter over to the said tables and present our drink ticket. In return we were handed a 3 oz sample of a Coors product.

Puh-lease, we live IN Colorado. We know what Coors products taste like. Coors was a staple in college. I am well versed in the intricacies of Blue Moon versus Coors Light. A sample is not what I need. I need a vodka tonic. Damnit. Thankfully, the angel that is my client and her darling hub came as well. Little talking into required and we found ourselves skipping out on The Networking Event Of The Year and headed over to Rodizio's, aka The Meat Place. Or the Place that Serves the Meat on a Stick. Yum.

Several pounds of meat and many laughs later, we headed home. The next night, my BFF Kate and Wonder Twin Andrew came down from the mountains and we got to meet up with them in Golden. Golden is where they make the Coors. Is it coming together for ye ol' networking event planners? There are few late night establishments in Golden. Weird. But we found the one with late night hours and live musak on Saturdays and made a jolly time of it. In fact, any time with them is jolly and we found ourselves laughing and eating far too many appetizers and little actual "food."

Sunday we somehow managed to eat chicken at home. Monday was a dinner/meeting involving lasagne. Then Tuesday. Oink Tuesday. Morning breakfast meeting at the delicious Zaidy's, with far too many potatoes, a delish bagel and fresh strawberry preserves. Hubby's work peeps invited us to dinner at Maggiano's Tuesday eve. Maggiano's is Italian for my grandmother shoving food down my throat. But free food is free food. Several tons of linguini with clam sauce and a bottle of Santa Margherita later, passing out was in order. Oh, yes, and I had a business lunch at Maggiano's the next day. Joy. The smell of it made me want to gag. But I mustered up the courage to eat salad and tiramisu. Somehow. It's all a blur now.

Because they let you take home the family style leftovers, we have 16 pounds of Maggiano's ling with clam sauce, gnocchi with vodka sauce and Dog knows what else in the fridge. So what do we have for dinner? Maggiano's. Someone call the Oompa Loompa's, I need to be squeezed.