Boots or Guns? Someone cry for me.

It is largely known in Colorado that Labor Day weekend is the start of ski equipment season. Not wanting to be left behind without the latest (read: last year's) ski equipment, we headed over to the local sporting good store to gear up. What a fricken good weekend to do this, no? Gosh, I felt like such an ass. But a sale is a sale, and I am a Bargain Hound. (The frugalist of the hounds.)

This is the first time we've made the commitment to ski equipment. We've always been renters. But we've saved our pennies and sucked it up to make the one time (hopefully) investment. While we were going through the mostly white* and completely bizarre ritual of trying on ski boots**, I paused to look up at the gun display. Hmm. Guns. Up until last week I would have laughed at the idea of owning a gun. I am, after all, a Bleeding Heart Liberal and Card Carrying Member of the ACLU with the Subaru Outback wagon to prove it. And, I must say, pretty damn proud of all three statements. I love the Bill of Rights and the entire Constitution. I keep a copy by my bed for light reading. I believe it is supposed to be for every citizen, not just the haves. I'm one of those dorks who gets off reading the Federalist Papers. I geeked out over the movie 'National Treasure.'

So now is my chance to take advantage of the 2nd Amendment. I have that right, don't I? It occurred to me, wait, several things occurred to me while looking at the gun display... first, I would have no clue whatsoever how to buy a gun. Do you just buy one like you would fresh produce in the grocery store? Hmmm, that one seems ripe, I'll take it. Or is there a special way to do it? I've heard about the waiting period. Hubby and I felt like tourists in the ski equipment department, dorkily asking if there was a difference in the brands, cost, size. We don't know, we just get what the people at the rental shop give us. So what if my feet are uncomfortable. Would we end up with a bad gun purchase as well? Second, I would have even fewer clues on how to operate a gun. When I was a kid at camp, we got to shoot a rifle at targets, as well as learn archery, which is a little used but valuable skill, I would speculate. What can I say, I was a tomboy. That's my experience with guns and ammo. Third, I would have no idea what a "good price" or a "good value" would be for a "good weapon." Fourth, what if I shoot my eye out?

Last, it occurred that if I were to get a gun, I might as well go all out and stock up on water and canned goods. Actually, my real thought was to see how much land in the middle of BFE would cost us, build a compound, and live off the grid. Cus there are some really freaky people in this world, and most of them hold public office.

* Don't believe me? Spend an hour at a ski equipment store and count the number of non-whites you see. I dare ya. Edited to clarify: It seems as if most of the time, white people are the only ones stupid enough to plunk down $1500 to slide face first down the side of a frozen mountain. Am I the only one to notice this? Screw it, I'm not going to apologize for stating the obvious.
** It's like watching constipated emus walk around, trying to get shit off their feet/paws/peds.