3 feet

When I start to get a little down on myself, thinking that I'm not doing enough, not making enough, not trying hard enough, I think about this story I heard somewhere. Everyone has heard it at one time or another. If you've read the motivational books or attended a seminar, you've heard it. It's the one about the minor who sold his mining rights because he stopped finding gold. The guy who bought the rights went in with some big heavy equipment and started drilling. (Put aside the obvious environmental impact issues here for one minute.) What the new owner found when he started drilling was just three feet below the point that the old minor stopped mining, was the biggest, baddest, buttload of gold the world has ever seen. (Don't get bogged down in the "specifics" of the story. I may not be using all the right "words.") The moral of the story is to keep going, because success may just be three feet in front of you and you wouldn't know it if you stopped working toward it.

I balance that in my head against all the Todos I have to do to keep going. Don't get me wrong. I L-O-V-E not working at BigCo. I adore working for myself. I enjoy meeting all these wonderful new people, and stretching my comfort zone further and further out. I cherish the freedom and opportunity I have and wouldn't trade it for anything at this point. I just want to be able to pay myself and my quarterly taxes. I make money. I make enough to get by. Thankfully we have a small mortgage. And no debt. And reasonable living expenses. And hubby has a decent paying job and benefits. All of this helps to make the highs and lows a little more bearable. When I'm staring at an A/R statement with thousands waiting to come in, it all makes it a little easier to stomach.

But I want more, people. I want and I want and I want. So I keep going. Keep building relationships. Keep working. Keep networking. Keep mining. I feel it. I know the gold is there. Just beyond my reach.