I (don't) wanna hold your hand...

At what point does helpful end and being taken advantage of start? I struggle with this constantly, especially now that I am a bid'nez owner. I'm generally a nice person. When pushed too far, however, I'm can be a complete beeeatch.

From time to time my friends and stalker ask me for help. This, I do not mind. I am happy to dish out info to appreciative people. I'm happy to host a party, or give directions (although I don't guarantee you'll actually get where you want to go), or hand out favors, hook people up with contacts, and so on. This, I actually enjoy. I feel good when I help people.

Then there are "those" people. The people who take, and take, and take and take and take and take... I've learned to recognize the signs. One too many questions. Can you send me this? Can you do this? Where is? How do you? What is the difference between this and this? How do I..? Multiply it times 100, every single day, and you get the idea.

At this point there may be one or two of you reading this thinking, is she talking about me? No. No. No. Chances are, the people who read this are not part of the Takers clan. Takers never notice that they are, in fact, Takers. Takers live in their own little gimme world. Always expecting, never giving. I dislike this. Very much.

Two examples...
1...a "client" who I can recognize as a Taker. She is constantly asking for more. It's almost to the point where I don't want her business. She is asking how to place files in Word docs. Hello? Do I have Microsoft Help Desk stamped on my forehead? She hasn't actually "signed on the dotted line" for me to do her project, yet she's acting like I'm her info desk. The other day she called me twice, once to leave a message. When she didn't get a response within 2 minutes, she called again. This time I was able to answer (I hadn't even listened to the message she had just left). She had a flash of inspiration for her logo and wanted to share it with me. What did I think? She asked. Hmm, well, sign the contract and I'll think about it all you want.

2...my former "house guest" who taught me the true meaning of the Taker philosophy. My in-person friends have all heard about her and right now they are groaning, not that story again... Yes, that story again. I don't think I've ever blogged about her before. If I only had a blog during that hellish two months of my life. That would have been some good snark material, I tell ya. The story... an old friend of mine from college moved to town and needed a place to stay while looking for a job. Neither hubby nor I imagined we were adopting a 30-year old helpless, cheap ass, lazy, selfish, child. I finally kicked her out after two months and finding out she was turning down job offers. Never lifted a finger to help around the casa. Wore a hole in the couch. Ate all our food. Never left the house.

I do realize that I put myself in some of these positions by offering to help and the Takers see this as a green light to keep on a-takin'. I need a graceful, yet firm way to say, I'd love to help, just as soon as you sign the contract. Or, get off my couch you selfish freak.

Actually, most of my clients are wonderful. They love me. I love them. They love my work. They pay me real US dollars. I am happy. They are happy. My CFO is happy. The IRS is pretty damn happy.

But, every once in a while, a Taker gets by the security screen. They are never happy until they've sucked every ounce of your happiness out and replaced it with cold, bitter resentment.

Keep an eye out for them. They're sneaky bastards.