Can I tell you a secret?

Promise not to tell?

I have bad days, too. Yes, yes. I know you think that life is all sunshine and fresh baked bread here in my fragile little mind. Good things have been happenin' a plenty to me lately. Either my karma has racked up some serious points, or I am just that good. One way or another I am very fortunate.

I also have those not so good in the head days. Where my brain and my actual life don't mesh. I worry. A lot. I fret. I agonize. I cry. I wail and moan. I do a fair amount of whining. I replay past mistakes in my head. I regret many things. I obsess and ponder. Mostly I obsess, and obsess, and obsess.

When I get like that, I tend to pace. Then I clean. I clean closets. Bathrooms. Garages. I clean silver. I vacuum. I mow. I rake up the crumbling leaves jammed in the corner of my yard. I dig out the old, dead annuals in the pots. In the process of all this, I clean my mind of all the problems and troubles bouncing around inside.

Would it make you feel better knowing that my little self curls up in a ball inside my head? Would you like to hear how my brain shuts down and I completely stall, sputter and break down from time to time? Well I do. It is during those times when I spend far too much time doing the things I shouldn't be doing, and far too little time on the things I should.

One thing I don't do, well, not that often at least, is share my bad days with you. Don't take it personally. I just don't think my little problems stack up so good against all the crap the rest of the world dishes out. Because, really now, how can my problems compete with current events?

Kind of puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?