Writing Friday: Heartbreak

I thought I'd take a different approach for Writing Friday's topic, heartbreak.

Finally she found it. The Job. The one and only that would satisfy her working life. Demanding, long hours mixed with a small amount of power. It tested her abilities, made her think critically, bring people to together and make things happen. In the event planning industry, jobs like this were few and far between.

She’d start each day at 7 am. Eager to get to the office, she’d take breakfast with her, have a bagged lunch at the ready. For several months the flurry of activity kept her late into the night. It didn’t matter because her co-workers were funny, easy to talk to and respected her abilities.

Except one.

She planned and plotted, organized and ordered her way to the day of the big conference. It was a training conference for 800 volunteers. They would arrive from across the country. Vans, perfectly synchronized, would pick them up and drop them off at the designated times.

The week flashed by. At the last meal on the last day, the executive director told the crowd of over 800 volunteers that this wonderful person had planned the whole event. The crowd stood in applause.

Monday morning she breezed into the office. Tired, but excited to start another project. A young woman who never talked to her glared at her in the break room. The woman was shorter than her. She had one too many dates with the Donut Hut. She was also the executive director’s assistant. For the sake of harmony and all that crap, she tried to be pleasant, even toyed with the idea of taking her to lunch to see what her deal was.

She never got the chance.

A blond head poked in her cube. It was her boss, asking her to come in her office. She thought nothing of it. Her boss sat down behind her desk and motioned to take a seat. The executive director was sitting next to her. They were quiet while they waited for her to sit down. What she heard next would swim in her head for years later.

Packing her things took far too long. Her eyes blurred with tears and a nose ran with snot far beyond the help of tissues. Her boss stood at the cubicle opening watching her fill a box on the desk.

She somehow managed to get in her car and drive a mile or so down the road before hyperventilating. She pulled to the side of the road and shut off the ignition. Barely breathing, she reached for her cell phone to call her husband.

“Hello.”

“I... just...” sob, sob, gasping for breath.

“What? Are you ok?”

“...I... just... got...” one more gulp for air.

“What?! Are you ok?!” the tone of his voice began to rise in worry.

“I... just...” sob “...got...” sob “...fired!” At this point, any ability to speak coherently ceased. She hadn’t said it out loud until that point. Speaking the word made it sound real.

“What the hell!? What do you mean?!” he shouted into the phone.

sob... gasp... sob...

His voice softened, “Where are you? Do you need me to come and get you?”

sob...”yes” a small voice croaked out.

“What did they say? Did they give you a reason?”

Then her lungs found air, “I don’t know... they wouldn’t tell me...” sob “I asked and asked and...” sob “they kept saying I didn’t meet their expectations...” sob.

“What the fuck does that mean?!” he yelled into the phone.

sniffling, gasping for air, “...I don’t know... they just said I didn’t fit in.”

His voice calm, stern, “where are you right now?”

“In my car, down the street from the of... off of Revere and Peoria,” she barely squeaked out.

She hung up the phone and tried to process what she just heard herself say. As she fingered the paycheck they had handed her, she could hear the chorus of self-criticism start.

She didn’t fit in. She didn’t do a good job. She wasn’t good enough. She failed.