My apologies to Section 14

Dear Section 14,

On Saturday night, while my precious Pioneers tied the dastardly Badgers, I let my emotions get the better of me and for this I sincerely apologize. Especially if you are a young child. It was not my intention to use such words in front of young children.

But in the heat of the moment, late in the third period, after listening to the blathering of obnoxious Badger fans for 50 minutes, I couldn't keep it in any longer. How do these loudmouth jack-arses get seats in the home team sections anyway? There should be a test. And where did all these drunken idiots come from? Wisconsin is a long way from Denver. Do they drive here? Fly here? Live here?

I take some small comfort in the fact that, while we didn't quite sweep the series, we moved up in the PairWise rankings to #1 as of this morning. The Badgers are still ranked at #7. Har Har.

But I digress. I'm sorry I said those things about their mothers. And about their sexual preference for animals. And their sub-par intelligence. And suggesting they quell their First Amendment right to free speech. And suggesting they have inappropriate sexual relations with themselves.

Actually, I'm not at all sorry that I suggested such things, just that I did so in front of your children. You understand. Unless you're a Badger fan, and in that case, please feel free to have sexual relations with yourself.

Sincerely,

Helen P. McGookin