Drunken Housewives, Part II
or Why we need a digital camera, with a movie mode!
I know you're on the edge of your seats to read the end of this train wreck...
When we left off Sousy Lou Who, Red and Vixen, plus their Gay Husbands and Boring White Husband were dancing inappropriately with an inanimate object.
Fast forward to the ladies room. The pub has a small bathroom, two stalls, not too much room for a line. Sousy and Red go off to the ladies hand in hand. Vixen joins them a few minutes later. Your crack reporter had to visit at the same time. This is the conversation overheard while waiting:
Red: (shrill) YOU LEFSTH ME BY MYSHELF!
Sousy: (shriller) SHORRY! I HAD TO DANCH!
Red: (shrillerer) IM SHO GLAD WE HAVE A BABYSHITTER!
Sousy: (shrillererer) IM SHO GLAD WE DON HAV TO DRIVE!
Vixen: (shrillerest) LETSH DO THE JIG!
At which point they started their own version of the Lord of the Dance. In the 100 s.f. bathroom.
Sadly, because of zoning regulations, the pub had to close at midnight. At this time, Guitar Man started breaking down his equipment. Red and Sousy Lou Who stormed the stage to sing us a departing song.
Guitar Man tried to talk them down, but realized if left alone, they'd probably break his $1000s of equipment. So he gave in and let them sing. Mic back on, they started singing Pretty Woman for the third time. Off key. Drunk. Gay Husbands joined in to complete the experience. Sure enough, they had to get their groove on one last time.
The owner cranked up the lights, the universal cue of "get the hell out before I lose my liquor license." The Gaggle obviously didn't know this sign. Boring White Husband herded them out.
We spotted them getting into a sweet minivan. Boring White Husband in the driver's seat. Sousy Lou Who, Red and Vixen would be waking up the next day with strong reminders of NYE 2004/5.
Thought for the day: It is never too late to be what you might have been. ~ George Eliot (1819 - 1880)
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