Drunken Housewives, Part I

or, Why we really need a digital camera!

Oh ma ga. I forgot to tell you about NYE. Goodness. We went easy on the hooch, since we had a hockey game to go to the next day and didn't want to spend the early morning feeling like arse. But, there are three very special lassies in Aurora who didn't get the memo...

We headed to our favorite English-style pub since they are: 1) a non-smoking establishment, 2) close to home, 3) offering live acoustic music for NYE, 4) owned by real people, not a chain, 5) our favorite pub. Following me here?

Late in the evening, while I'm enjoying my third something-cherry-martini and hubby is nurturing his Carlsberg, in walks a gaggle of drunken idiots. Now, normally I wouldn't be so quick to judge, but they helped me arrive at this conclusion in mere minutes.

Guitar Man finishes his set and takes a break by the bar near the Gaggle. They start chatting him up, as drunk people do. We order another round. When he gets back up to start another set, declares the Gaggle has requested a song he never plays. He breaks into an acoustic rendition of Raspberry Beret. Yup. That Raspberry Beret.

At this point, the blond, who I'll call Sousy Lou Who, on account of the fact that she looks like a Who, gets up and starts, um, dancing? It's a frightening combination of the Elaine and a grand mal seizure. Somehow she pulls it off.

The red haired lass joins her. Red has much less rhythm than Sousy. But isn't she sweet to dance with her anyway? Two seemingly gay Italian men join them. A third woman, a plump dark haired vixen, gets her groove on as well. A third, nondescript white guy, presumably the DD, knows better and watches from the bar.

Did I mention that this pub has no dance floor? Non? Well, they couldn't let that detail stop them. Sometime between Raspberry Beret and a lovely cover of With Or Without You, Gay Husband #1 requests a song for "the ladies."

Guitar Man stars playing Pretty Woman. The Gaggle, including the white guy, start "dancing" and "singing" along. I put these words in quotes as singing normally sounds good, and one usually uses real words, follows along, keeps up with the beat... Gay Husband #2 thinks it's a fine idea to dirty dance with a nearby decorative suit of armor. Indeed.

Next time... Drunken Housewives, Part II, or Why we really need a digital camera, with a movie mode.

Thought for the day: You will never be completely ready. Start from wherever you are.