Rocky can't chew gum, and other facts discovered on rainy Sunday nights

Hello.

Betcha thought I did one of those "off to do homework" kind of things. You'd be wrong. No. I've been doing all sorts of things except homework lately. Managing my minions at work for one. Not training for the 5k I ran this morning in record time (thank you very much). Hoo, and don't forget all abstinence I've been up to: I've stopped drinking on weekdays (again) just to see if 1) I was capable of it, and 2) lose a few l-bs that somehow crept up on me over the winter.

This weekend I discovered my newest photography project (mandals mockumentary forthcoming, promise!) and went forth to photograph it with zest. In the process, this morning I was dry humped by the local MLS team's mascot (a racoony-looking fella with a sweat problem) and Friday night I was nearly disrobed by the Colorado Rockies mascot, Dinger. Yes, my latest project is mascots. At first I was going to go for only restaurant mascots as I've already collected the Honey Baked Ham Bee (exhibit A) and the Chick-fil-A Cow. But then J pointed out that after Ronald McDonald, there just aren't that many restaurants with mascots these days. Gone are the Bob's Big Boys of the world. It's a crying shame, I tell you.

Exhibit A: Honey, Honey

On the dogger front... Saturday I woke up hungover from too much Dinger love and made a decision. The hounds and I marched down to the local Petco and bought new collars. Rocky's had his Denver Broncos collar for 8 years and, well, I just don't give a crap about foosball (the devil's game). It was the ex's thing. And poor Paddi came with the collar she was wearing. So now they have a whole new wardrobe and I feel like they are really "mine." Photos available upon request.

It's Sunday night. It's raining. I'm rocking out to South Park: Chef Aid soundtrack mixed in with a little Van Morrison on the side. As I was engrosed in homework*, I found out the hard way that Rocky can't chew gum. Not for lack of trying on his part, mind you.

Back to the books. This paper ain't gunna write itself.

*Really, this time I'm doing homework!

Back by popular demand

No, I'm not dead in a ditch somewhere. I went to D.C. for a work conference, finished up a final project for school and then went on spring break with the other 120 million Americans and Canadians who weren't scared off by the drug wars south of the border. All of whom were staying at our resort.

So, I'm back from my week long vacation in Mexico with Ace, where I became Monica Geller and switched hotel rooms three times. The third time was totally worth it because we got upgraded to a 5-Diamond resort where they rub your feet and little children blow dry your hair with feathers.

Overall it was an awesome vacation. I wish I could say that I did a lot, but I didn't. I ate, drank, slept, tanned, um, you know, and repeat. For 7 days. Heaven.

Then on the 5th day, well... Ace and I had an argument. Most likely fueled by too much sun and hooch. (Mexican hooch is the worst for that.) It could have been the topless sunbathing prune on the beach. I'm pretty sure I saw Ace flirting with it. On the 6th day, there was another argument, this time definitely fueled by too much sun and hooch. We're back to the 1st world and everything seems to be going ok. I think we were both under a lot of stress because of the drug lords... roaming all over the place. They were in the water, in the trees, in the pool, in the tamales... Geesh.

I've been back for a week and half, and so far, I've been working balls out on work and school. That's a lie. I've mostly been working on work. Yours truly is now the proud manager of seven unpaid interns, one graduate assistant and three freelancers. I fired a freelancer this week and replaced her with a new one. It felt good, crushing another person's soul. (kidding!) Tonight I'm editing a podcast and will post it on the www's. Pay no mind that I've never done this before... I'm making it up as I go along. This is pretty much my M.O. of late. Hopefully nobody catches on before I get this thing hot-wired.

Let's see... what else is going on at the chick haus? Oooh, over-achiever me got another A in a class. Don't ask me how. I slacked off like slacking off was my full-time job in that last class. (I'm dangerously close to topping that in my current class.) The hound dogs have moved into the Cottage full-time. It's all beagles, all the time. I'll save that for another post. It'll be a good 'un.